Monday, November 26, 2007

Suzaan Post .

Hont se hont milte hain tu kya huta hai??
?
?
?
?
socho??
?
?
nai pata?
???
?
?
uff
kitna ganda sochte ho kuch nai bus moo band huta hai


***************************
***************************

if sumone calls u crazy,dont mind,
if sumone calls u duffer,relax,
if sumone calls u stupid be cool,
but if sumone calls u “cute”
.
.
.
.
lagana thappar os pagal ke monh pe,
mazak ki b koi hud hoti hai

***************************
***************************

American:-Dogs can find Bombs in my country.
Japanese:-Fish can play Ball in my country.
Nepali:-Thats not a matter,Monkey can read SMS in my country…

***************************
***************************

What is the difference between Monkey & Donkey ?
Monkey saves this message &
Donkey deletes this message.
Choice is yours

***************************
***************************

Rose
Lotus
Tulip
Orchid
Sunflower
Jasmin
Lilly
All flowers r sweet but they have no comparison with u,
Kyun K
Gobhi K phool ki baat hi alag hai.

***************************
***************************

Have a horrible day without water in ur bathroom,
while soap in ur eyes.
Oh!sorry, dis msg is not 4 u.
Its only 4 those who do not take bath everyday…

***************************
***************************

A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house…
still he was in jail…….why?
coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !

***************************
***************************

Man:Doctor ! My Son has swallowed a key.

Doctor: When ?

Man:Three Months Ago

Doctor: What were you doing till now?

Man: We were using duplicate key…

***************************
***************************

Na pyar, na yaar, na mohabbat, na dosti yaro,

Aaj k devdaas ki bat mano,
na chandar mukhi na paaro,
bas har larki ko aankh maaro

***************************
***************************

Na pyar, na yaar, na mohabbat, na dosti yaro,

Aaj k devdaas ki bat mano,
na chandar mukhi na paaro,
bas har larki ko aankh maaro

***************************
***************************

Ek shareef admi shadi k bad apni B.V ko bola:
Aaj sey tum he meri ZINDAGI ho, PYAAR ho, TAMANNA hoo!

B.V:
aor aaj sey aap he mere leye
FARHAN hain, SAAD hain NOMAN hain

***************************
***************************

Commerce professor asks the student:
what is the most important source
of finance for starting business?

Student: “Father in law”.

***************************
***************************



Q: What did the gangster’s son
tell his dad when he failed his examination?

A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours
but I never told them anything.”

***************************
***************************

Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains.
So what do the rest have?
.
.
.
.
.
They have girl friends:p

***************************
***************************

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?

Son : Not much dad,
just a radio with a sports car around it.

***************************
***************************

Do u know similarity
between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
?
?
?
?
Both don’t exist.

***************************
***************************

Do u know similarity
between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
?
?
?
?
Both don’t exist.

***************************
***************************

Dil ka dard dil torrne waley kiya jaaney,
Pyar ke rivajon ko zamana kiya jaaney,

Hoti hai kitni takleef larrki ko pataney main,
Ye ghar pe baitha larki ka baap kiya jaaney

***************************
***************************

Hai tu agar mera dilbar,
Hai tu agar mera dilbar,
To aaj ke lunch ka bill tu bhar

***************************
***************************

Teacher To Student:

Can You Define Who Is LECTURER?

Student : A LECTURER Is A Person Who Has A Very Bad
Habit Of Speaking When Someone Is SLeeping.

***************************
***************************

Door kahin ek basti thi,
Wahan churailain basti thein,
Un k andar bari masti thi,
Jab dekho wo hansti thin,
Tum jo itna hansti ho,
Usi basti ki lagti ho

***************************
***************************

A girl & boy were sitting alone,
that boy started touching de girl,
Girl : dont touch me, all this only after marriage.
Boy : ok call me when u r maried.

***************************
***************************

What is a girl friend?

Addition of problems,
subtraction of money,
multiplication of enemies
&
division of friends.

***************************

I just feel u….

Whenever I feel u….
I just miss u …..
Whenever i miss u ….
I just wana See u ….
Do u know why…….

It’s juts beacuse …………

******I LOVE CARTOONS*******
***************************


GIRLZ OF 1995*
“AGAR TUM MIL JAO ZAMANA CHOIR DENGE HUM”

GIRLZ OF 2007*
AGAR TUM MIL JAO PURANA CHOR DENGE HUM

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Omlet ready? Yes Boss! Chicken ready? Yes Boss! Fish ready? Yes Boss! Mutton ready? No Boss! why? Boss, Bakra abi message padraha hai!

Don't be afraid to take risks and experience pain to achieve your dreams. Always remember, if you want a rainbow, you must first go through the rain.

Bandar ka beta apni maa se bola: maa! main kyon itna badsoorat hoon? maa boli: beta! tu 2 phir bhi thik hai, usse dekh jo abhi SMS padhrahahai

u=lovely, u=perfect, u=beautiful, u=amazing, u=sweet, u=cute, u=genius, u=fantastic, u=fabulous, Me=liar.

Clouds r white but the sky is blue, monkey like u should b kept in the zoo, dont get angry u’ll find me there too, not in the cage but laughing at u.

Have u seen a monkey wrapped in plastic?
No??? Quickly see your id card or driving license.

Where r u? U r u not replying? I m worried coz todays paper I read that due 2 thunder a monkey has been severely injured. So if u r safe, SMS me immediately.

Lost in a zoo I saw many animals..
Tiger ..
BIRDs ...
Longoor ....
and...! U 2

Last night some Monkeys came running to my room.They wanted to trouble good people... I suggested ur name.They said Oh!!!No we can t disturb our Boss...

Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga,
ek saroor sa uske dil pe chaya hoga…
pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat mein rakh lun..
phir usse zoo ka khayal aaya hoga..

apun dono ka dosti ekdum jhakas hona mangta hai,jhakas bole to...apun hira tu moti,apun sabji tu roti,apun pani tu tanki apun tarzan tu monkey

Dost kaha ho? Jaha ho wahi pe rehna.
3-4 ghante tak bahar mat nikalna.
Tumhari jaan ko khatrra hai!
Bahar “BANDAR” pakadne wale ghoom rahe hai

Kati bhinna chann e dinharu
Timro aagaman bhaye dekhi
Kati ramailo chha yo mausam
timi zoo ma bashe dekhi

Chhora: daddy daddy aaja baadar herna jaun na!
Daddy: Ahile hoina babu, baadar ahile sms padhdai chha.........

3 monkeys escaped from the zoo.
One was caught playing football
The second was caught watching television
And the third............ No... No!! it's not YOU !!!
Tyasko ajhai pattra lageko chhaina.... Khoji jaari chha.

Timailai ma ke bhanau?
Phool bhanau bhane tyasma kanda chha
Chandrama bhanau bhane tyasma DAAG chaa
BAANDAR bhanau bhane tyasms DIMAAG chha.....

What is the difference between Monkey & Donkey ? Monkey saves this message & Donkey deletes this message.Choice is urs........

Not every flower can represent love but roses did it. Not every tree can stand thirst, but cactus did it. Not every monkey can read SMS but hey you just did it! Congrates!! Enjoy your day, and don't forget to smile!

1 - message - received - 1 - cute - person - sent - it - 1 - monkey - is - reading - it - 1 - monkey - is - angry - 1 - monkey - is - still - reading - 1 - monkey - wil 4ward - dis - msg - to - anodr - monkey !

Dil chahta hai tum se milne ko, tumhain daikhne ko. magar kia karon yeh stupid gate keeper kehta hai. " Aaj Zoo Band Rahay Ga "

why do monkeys love banana.... - oops i am so sorry ........ - thats your personal matter!

A psychological study prove that monkeys use thumbs to read messages. Dont change your finger, its too late now

Birds love you, monkeys love you, hippos love you, snakes love you, tortoise love you, giraffe loves you..... Please go back to ZOO, they all really miss U!

One song can spark a moment, One flower can wake the dream . One tree can start a forest. One sms can bring refreshment. So KEEEP smsing.

Alone i can only say but together we can shout, alone i can only smile but together we can laugh, alone i can only live but together we can celebrate.

Painting is a feeling never spoil it. FACE is a book try to read it. FRIENDSHIP is like a mirror don't break it.

DESTINY IS SIMPLY da strength of ur desires. If u cry at a trouble, it grows double, if u laught at it, it disappears like a bubble. Apply dis & u'll b happy/enjoy ur life.

The greatest GIFT u can give 2 sum 1 is ur Time becoz when u give sum1 ur time u R givin him a portion of ur Life. Ur beautiful thoughts alwz fills my mind.

Dur hai aap se to kuch gam nahi. Dur rahkar v Bhulne wale hum nahi. Roj mulakat na ho paye to kya hua, aapki yaad mulakat se kuch kam nahi...

Never say U r happy when u r sad. never say u r fine when u R not. Never say u feel good when u feel bad. Never say U r alone when I'm still alive.

U may be out of my sight, but not out of my heart, U may be out of my reach but not out of my mind.I may mean nothing to u but u will always be special to me!!

Jindagi behal hai, Sur hai na taal hai.,Msgbox kangal hai, kya aapki sms factory me hadtaal hai, Kuch SMS bhejo, mere mobile ki jindagi ka sawal HAI.

LOVE speaks in tender voice but is heard inspite of the noise. Love sees simple beauty and finds every1 worthy.

Dunya main sirf teen tarah kay log khush naseeb hotey hai (1) Woh jinhay sacha pyar milta hai (2) woh jinhay acha Yaar milta hai (3) woh jinhay mera sms bar baar milta hai Only 4 U.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Nevr frown, even when u r sad Bcoz u nevr know who is fallin in love with ur smile.

Dimaag k liye, orange ka juice, aankhe k liye, carrot k juice. Sehat k liye banana ka juice, khush rehene k liye sms kar kanjus.

If i give U a dozen of roses… And u ask why there r no thrones, I would just smile, show my bleeding hand n say .. I took them away so that u won't get hurt.

Moon said to me, if ur fren is not messaging u why don't u leave ur fren. I looked at moon n said does ur sky ever leave u when U don't shine.

Ur eyes Patakha, UR LIPS rocket, ur ears chakra, ur smile Fuljadi, ur STYLE ANAR, ur personality bomb. Are nikal le, i'm coming with "CANDLE".

Give laugh to all but smile to 1 give cheeks to all but lips to 1 Gie love to all but heart 2 one, let everbdy lov u but U love 1.

Na hotel me na bar me, Na bike me na car me, ajki raat gujergay sirf tumare sms ki intajar me.

I send my care 2 to the wind n told the wind 2 pass them to U. So when u feel the wind blowin against ur face its me saying take care & Always be fit & happy.

If u feel a little dizzy and u r craving for something sweet all the time . U r suffering from a defficiency of VITAMIN :ME:.

Life brings "KABHI KHUSHI KABHI GUM" when it ends "NA TUM JANO NA HUM" So lets 'MASTI" together who knows "KAL HO NA HO".

What makes some people dearer is not just da happines tha u feel feel when u meet them but also da pain u feel when u miss them.

Search for a perfect guy is like search for dinasours. Do u know why? Simple, Becoz they don't exists.

I heard some1 whisper ur name, but when i turnd around to C who it was, I notice i was alone, then i realized it was my heart teling me that i miss U.

Tera bahot memory aa reli thi, teri yaad mein kalam uthai, tera jhakkas tasbir banayi, socha tha, us tasbir ko sine mein lagake rakhunga, par ky bidhu, who to bhooton ko bhagane kaam aayi

Dil dil se juda nahi hota, u hi kisi pe fida nahi hota, PYAr se bada dosti k rista hota hai kyunki dost kavi bebafa nahi hote hai.

Darte hain AAG se kahi jal na jayein, Darte hain khwaab se kahi tut na jayein, Par sbse jyada darte hain tum se kahi tum hamein bhul na jayein.

Yaad hum bhi aapko karte hain, yaad aap bhi hume karte hai, Fark sirf itna hain, hum yaad aane pe sms karte hain aur aap sms ane pe yaad karte hai

A raindrop may look 2 small 2 eyes but somewhere a thirsty flower awaits its fall. A small sms may seem 2 small 2 u but somewhere a heart smile when it receives ur sms. So keep SMSing.

Aapse milneka mann kiya tha, mannko samjhadiya, dil tadapne laga, usko v beheladiya. aakhe ro padi unko chup karadiya lekin aab sansein keherahi hain i miss u, kya uskovi rok du?

No Shadows 2 Depress U, Only Joys 2 Surround U,Many FrieNds 2 LoveU,God Himself 2 BlessU,These r my Wishes 4U,2day 2morow & Everyday 2 u !!

Fulo ki mehek ko churaya nahi jata, suraj ki kirno ko chhupaya nahi jata, kitne v dur raho a dost tum, dosti me aap jaisa dost ko bhulaya nahi jata.

Jivan mein paisa, pyar aur dosti sab aate hai jate hai, par tute hue daant wapas nahi ate hai. Samajhdar ho, ummed hai sms bhejte rahoge.

Sometime i dont say hi, sometime i dont reply, sometime i dont msg u, but it doesn't mean i 4get u, it means im givin u time 2 miss me n 2 miss u. Goodday!

Har kadam pe imtihaan leti hai zindagi, har waqt naye sadme deti hai zindagi, hum zindagi se sikwa kaise kare ki aap saa pyaara dost bhi to deti hai zindagi.

Subah sahm hum tumko yaad kiya karte hain, sitaron mein tumhe dekha karte hain, magar hamare sapno mein kabhi mat aana coz hamein bhooton se bahut darr lagta hai!

Yeh kis tarah yaad aa rahe ho, Ankhe band hai fir v nazar aa rahe ho, najane kyon easa lagta hai, saamne khade ho aur sING hila rahe ho!! Abuiii

1 day u’ll B srprisd 2 c ME beside U. U & ME laughing, U & ME crying, U & ME dreaming, U & ME holding on, U & ME… just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U.

Dost mere marne ke baad aansu na bahaana Jab yaah aaye meri, to seedhe upar hi chale aana.

Dont keep da special 1 in ur eyes they may fall as tears, keep them in ur heart so that evry heartbeat remind u that there is 1 4 u.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

funny sms send to ur fren....

Funny sms send ur friends .............n fun i with them....



Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Oh loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes - Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"

John Abraham:
John Abraham was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up tequila."
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
John looked up again and said,
"Never mind. I found one."

Little Manu Jokes
Teacher: Why are you late?
Manu: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Manu: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

Teacher: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Manu: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Manu: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

Teacher: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Manu: Me!

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Manu: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."

Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Manu: Brotherly love.

Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Manu: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Manu: A teacher

Sardarji Jokes

Delivered:
Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, "DELIVERED".

Smart Sardarji:
A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.

The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "your turn".

He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.

The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.

Sardarji Jokes:

A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.

The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered the Sardarji.

Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'

Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says the Sardarji.

Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.

Finally, the Sardarji doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.

'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'

The Sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'

Race to the Sun:

Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.

One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'


ll melt."

And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."


Desi Jokes / Political Jokes


Top Ten Reasons why there won't be an Indian US President Anytime Soon
10. White House not big enough for in-laws
9. Engineering, medicine, law and motels always preferred over politics
8. Agarbattis will set off smoke alarms
7. Can't find decent masala dhosa inside the beltway
6. Secret service can't handle nagging from mother
5. Dignitaries generally intimidated by eating with hands at state dinners
4. No chance for promotion
3. Chewing pan masala not considered politically correct
2. Senior aides won't take off shoes before coming in
1. Air Force One: No frequent flyer miles

Pedro: Pedro was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up tequila."
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Pedro looked up again and said,
"Never mind. I found one."

Musharraf in Tunnel:
Vajpayee, Musharraf, Madhuri Dixit and Margaret Thatcher are traveling in a train. The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. Thatcher and Vajpayee are sitting there looking perplexed. Musharraf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Thatcher is thinking: "These Pakistanis are all crazy after Madhuri. Musharraf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him"

Madhuri is thinking: "Musharraf must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Margaret instead and got slapped."

Musharraf is thinking: "Damn! it, Vajpayee must have tried to kiss Madhuri, she thought it was me and slapped! me."

Vajpayee is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Musharraf again."


Male / Female Jokes


Definitions
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

Equation
7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems.
So beware of glance!

Girl Friends
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS;
1,Too Many Questions.
2,Difficult to Understand.
3,More Explanation is Needed.
4,Result is always FAIL!

Marriage
A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.She went downstairs looking for him. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She saw tears rolling from his eyes as he sipped his coffee.

"What's the matter with you, my dear? Why are you down here at this time of the night?" she asked.

"Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked.

"Yes, I do," she replied.

"Do you remember when your father caught us while dating?"

"Yes, I do remember," she replied.

"Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?"

"Yes, I do," she said, getting a little teary- eyed herself at his fond recollection.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know... I would have been released today."

Banking Procedure for Male and Female:
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on it.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.